Tag Archives: New Orleans

Pigs Can Fly

Well, it’s official. Now anything is possible. Pigs can fly. And the New Orleans Saints are going to the Superbowl.

Here are Emily’s thoughts on the subject.

#572, c. 1862

Delight — becomes pictorial —
When viewed through Pain —
More fair — because impossible
That any gain —

The Mountain — at a given distance —
In Amber — lies —
Approached — the Amber flits — a little —
And That’s — the Skies —

This poem came to hand last evening as I listened to the car horns honking all over the city, my neighbor Ivan shot his homemade cannon into the bayou, the street outside my house filled with the dazed and the dazzled, the long-suffering and now joyful. Last night before the game I said that I wasn’t sure what scared me more: That they might lose. Or that they might win. A loss to the Vikings would be crushing, but if the Saints won then they’d have go to the Superbowl. Then what if they lose that? The anxiety and pressure around this potential high point might kill us. It occurred to me that it might be easier to back off before we got there. Boy, I’m glad no one was really listening to me. Still, I have flutters of nerves around what comes next. The delicate balancing point here is to say that this victory, the step before the Superbowl, is both great and good enough. Even if they lose from here, the Saints have still shattered the curse that has been hanging over their heads for 43 years.

There is something a little frightening about reaching a long dreamed-of goal. A lot of responsibility comes with the joy, which is fragile and requires protection and vigilance so that the weight of ordinary circumstances does not snuff it out. When there is so much farther to fall after a dream dies, then it might seem better to strangle it in the cradle to get the disappointment over with early rather than later. After all, the pain of disappointment is more familiar and seems to fit better.

Consequently, many people choke when they find themselves within reach of what they said they wanted. It’s an understandable weakness. Yet, there is nothing sadder in the world than someone who backs down from his own joy. And nothing more noble than the one who steps in to claim it and love it.

Let’s savor this joy a little before succumbing to the old anxiety. Perhaps in these days, we can absorb a healing tincture from this new sense of what is possible. Sometimes just claiming happiness can change a person.

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The Soul’s Unfurnished Rooms

Good morning and Happy New Year. I was pleasantly surprised to see during my absence that y’all are still reading this thing. So I’ll keep writing it, I guess. Until I run out of things to say.

There was an interesting lunar eclipse on New Year’s Eve. I spent it on my porch smoking cigarettes. My one-day-a-year indulgence. Then I quit smoking as my new year’s resolution. It works every time. My smoking partner is also my Saints Consort. We discussed the upcoming game. Then to our great dismay, the “bless-you boys” lost to the Panthers on Sunday. Pretty much what we expected, given that Payton pulled Brees from the starting line-up. To save his arm for the play-offs, yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda. Yes, I understand why this was a smart tactical decision. They ended the season 13 and 3, which is great. Still, I object on moral grounds. Basically Payton threw the last game because he could. The thinking goes: Why bother playing the game if it does not explicitly lead to the Superbowl? I ask: Is this a game or isn’t it?

Emily’s remarks follow:

#393, c. 1862

Did Our Best Moments last —
‘Twould supersede the Heaven —
A few — and they by Risk — procure —
So this Sort — are not given —

Except as stimulants — in
Cases of Despair —
Or Stupor — The Reserve —
These Heavenly Moments are —

A Grant of the Divine —
That Certain as it Comes —
Withdraws — and leaves the dazzled Soul
In her unfurnished Rooms

She warns us . . . or perhaps this is more of a neutral philosophical observation that we cannot live on the peaks of our life experiences, only the valleys. The purpose of these Best Moments is to give us a glimpse of the good orderly direction that shapes our lives. A hint of magic beneath the drear. “In case of despair, break glass and remember that joy!” Otherwise, why would we bother?

She also points out that if our so-called Best Moments were the everyday condition of our lives, that would make Heaven obsolete. We need that sharp contrast of our best moments against our worst moments (or just ordinary moments) to have some definition around our experience. Without that, Heaven becomes mundane.

Sorry, going off topic— I can’t help but remark that it is unbearably cold here. I know it’s churlish of me to complain about winter in New Orleans, but that doesn’t stop me. (My fingers and toes are numb! And I hate it!) Especially absurd to complain given that I have just returned from the Northeast where another four inches of snow accumulated on the ground as my plane took off. Despite the weather, I had a lovely visit with my nephews. We went ice skating, and I remembered how to skate backwards and make figure eights and even a few brave spins. The joy! I just needed a teeny flippy skirt and tights to be complete. I am a Yank in my bones after all, although my poor fingers and toes prefer living in the balmy swamp.

I love Christmas, but I am also relieved when it’s over. Same with Mardi Gras. These Best Moments, super-saturated with sweet indulgence, are exhausting. I enjoy the return to mundane home, the ordinary tasks, walking Lance, straightening the house, taking a breath and reviewing the coming year. What will I make of it? So glad I quit smoking . . .

For now I am meditating on the image of “the dazzled Soul/ In her unfurnished Rooms”. The first thought links back to her earlier poem, where Emily told us “The Truth must dazzle gradually”, suggesting the soft punch of the poem on her readers, while here she offers her own Soul in a state of bedazzlement. All this blinding sparkle. Over what? A joy. The gift that leaves even Emily’s soul bereft of words. What was the thing that touched her so deeply? The sense that arises from the image is the dissolving remnant of a memory, some peak fulfillment. The Soul’s rooms are empty afterward because nothing else remains after such a joy. The force of the pleasure blasted everything away so that now the space around the Soul is blessedly empty. No clutter. No chatter. Lots of room for the unfolding awareness of contrast. Emily brings her focus to a pure knowledge of what was . . . by staying in what is.

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Most Quiet Turning Point

The Saints lost to the Cowboys last weekend. I knew it couldn’t continue forever. Still it stung. Perhaps it’s for the best. Now, we see that the Saints have feet of clay, after all. Still a model for us.

Today’s poem is here:

#563, c. 1862

I could not prove the Years had feet —
Yet confident they run
Am I, from symptoms that are past
And Series that are done —

I find my feet have further Goals —
I smile upon the Aims
That felt so ample — Yesterday —
Today’s — have vaster claims —

I do not doubt the self I was
Was competent to me —
But something awkward in the fit —
Proves that — outgrown — I see —

This poem arrived by random chance for the Winter Solstice. It’s the longest night of the year. Greatest spell of darkness before the smallest splinter of a move toward greater light. At first the change is a matter of a few minutes. Infinitesimal, but the shift is real and lasting. This night marks the most quiet turning point.

Here at the end of the year, Emily grows up and beyond even herself now. She graduated from family, society and church. That left only her self-created constraints to face, which she gently conquers. What a relief to know we don’t have to stick with the decisions that made sense last year. That when we notice something doesn’t fit the person we are now, we are allowed to choose differently. Every time, with each new step and new year, we have the power to choose the thing that better suits our larger self.

This poem seems a fitting close to my project and the year for that matter. I’ll be visiting with nephews over the next week. After that . . . not sure. Emily will be here, but as for me, we’ll have to see.

Have a cool Yule, y’all.

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