Tag Archives: Emily Dickinson

Lectio Divina

Last night I had dinner with my friend Linda (visiting from New York), her beau Terence, and their friend Brother Fred. This morning I pulled the following remarks from Emily.

#652, c. 1862

A Prison gets to be a friend —
Between its Ponderous face
And Ours — a Kinsmanship express —
And in its narrow Eyes —

We come to look with gratitude
For the appointed Beam
It deals us — stated as our food —
And hungered for — the same —

We learn to know the Planks —
That answer to Our feet —
So miserable a sound — at first —
Nor ever now — so sweet —

As plashing in the Pools —
When Memory was a Boy —
But a Demurer Circuit —
A Geometric Joy —

The Posture of the Key
That interrupt the Day
To Our Endeavor — Not so real
The Cheek of Liberty —

As this Phantasm Steel
Whose features — Day and Night —
Are present to us — as Our Own —
And as escapeless — quite —

The narrow Round — the Stint —
The slow exchange of Hope —
For something passiver — Content
Too steep for looking up —

The Liberty we knew
Avoided — like a Dream —
Too wide for any Night but Heaven —
If That — indeed — redeem —

So Brother Fred, who is affiliated with the Benedictine order although he is not a priest, explained the topic of his doctoral thesis. It concerns preaching through a meditative practice called lectio divina, which relies on readings from scripture as a springboard into contemplation, the idea being that the holy spirit awakens through “eating” and “savoring” the words. Not reading them for meaning or analysis, but absorbing the words as a slide that plunges one into a non-ordinary state of consciousness that lies beyond words—the realm of holy spirit or awareness of “god within”. The monastic orders of the 12th century popularized this practice, most notably through the Rule of St. Benedict. The practice requires first that one quiets the mind and body by establishing a regular time for meditation in a place that is free of all distractions—no newspapers, email or horoscopes.

Also called “feasting on the word”, lectio divina consists of four steps or rungs in the “monk’s ladder.” First you take a bite (lectio) which is to read the words. Then you chew on it (meditatio), which means writing it down or reading it aloud. Here the mind wants to grasp the meaning. Then you savor it (oratio) which is to place the printed page away from you and wait for the word or phrase that wants to stick to the soul do its work. By meditating on the words, one waits passively for the words to manifest. The idea is that whatever portion of the passage is most relevant, that part rises to the surface. Not necessarily the whole passage but whatever small part of it is most needed, one word perhaps. The soul knows what it wants to hear.

The last part is digestion (contemplatio) which is that you stand up and go about your business with the word (engaged by holy spirit) active within you. You let the word inform your day. Allow the word to manifest itself to you and through you.

When Brother Fred described this practice to me, I shouted, “My god! I’ve been practicing lectio divina with Emily! All this time, and I didn’t even know it.” This took some explaining, but Brother Fred agreed that the text one uses for meditation doesn’t really matter. The scripture is not regarded as the literal word of God, but a tool for the practitioner to awaken the “god within”. The words are a mirror reflecting back to the reader what may be dormant and yearning for expression. You could do it with nursery rhymes . . . theoretically, at least.

Here I had been communing with Emily, having lively conversations with her in my sleep, and thinking that I had gone well and truly buggy—when in reality I have been experiencing just a regular old mystical encounter with the divine. What a relief.

It’s also nice to have this doughty Latin phrase for what I’m doing. Lectio Divina! With a feminine suffix, no less. I remember that much from high school Latin. And how nice to know I am in the company of St. Benedict and all the others.

Thank you Brother Fred.

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After the Dust

The blackbirds returned this morning. I expect they are not done with me. Nor Emily.

#936, c. 1864

This Dust, and its Feature —
Accredited — Today —
Will in a second Future —
Cease to identify —

This Mind, and its measure —
A too minute Area
For its enlarged inspection’s
Comparison — appear —

This World, and its species
A too concluded show
For its absorbed Attention’s
Remotest scrutiny —

It’s Thursday. The god of the underworld pauses in his deliberations through a mountain of granite. We are being rained on constantly. Last night I listened to Obama trying to fix health care. Meanwhile people are dying because they can’t get the treatment they need. Because no one really wants to help.

We cling to this coat of flesh even as it turns to dust. The mind appears to have it all under control, even as it confronts the unknowable. The scramble for stuff on this plane seems so important in the moment, and then it all falls into nothing.

Today I am selling off a portion of my library. It was getting out of hand. I buy books faster than I can read them. Plus I still have books that I read when I was 12 years old. Either I had to buy more bookcases or prune back my collection. I realized as I went through the dusty shelves that so much of my library is there because it makes me feel more of who I am. And is that actually true? Or is that just an idea, a dusty idea, I hold onto in the absence of something else? Once I unclenched my grasp on these dusty books, it was relatively easy to let them go. Now I can’t wait to get rid of them. They are smothering me, all these pages. What are they there for really? I have loved them, and now it’s time to let them go.

It will be interesting to see what remains once the decks are emptied. My curiosity to see after the dust clears is stronger (right now) than the urge to hold on to things that at one time anchored an idea that might not be relevant any longer.

It’s a little exhilarating, and a little dangerous. In my tribe, getting rid of books is the closest thing to blasphemy there is. I like it. I’m going to do more of this.

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No Day At the Beach

When Emily goes for a walk to the sea, this is no simple day at the beach.

#520, c. 1862

I started Early — Took my Dog —
And visited the Sea —
The Mermaids in the Basement
Came out to look at me —

And Frigates — in the Upper Floor
Extended Hempen Hands —
Presuming Me to be a Mouse —
Aground — upon the Sands —

But no Man moved Me — till the Tide
Went past my simple Shoe —
And past my Apron — and my Belt
And past my Bodice — too —

And made as He would eat me up —
As wholly as a Dew
Upon a Dandelion’s Sleeve —
And then — I started — too —

And He — He followed — close behind —
I felt His Silver Heel
Upon My Ankle — Then my Shoes
Would overflow with Pearl —

Until We met the Solid Town —
No One He seemed to know —
And bowing — with a Mighty look —
At me — The Sea withdrew —

First the mermaids emerge from her basement, these otherworldly, non-human creatures that live in her subconscious. Just looking. They have nothing to say. Neutral, silent, fantastical bottom-dwellers down there in the basement of her soul, come to the surface occasionally just to freak her out. Able swimmers, who may live either in air or water. Both fish and woman. Travelers between the realms. Translators between the species.

Then the sailboats in her attic. The wind-driven vessels of her upper mind. Dreams made of vapors, thoughts, ideas. These try to save her from her watery fate. Emily’s sharp and airy mind may want to make sense of the vast emotions that engulf her from time to time, but she doesn’t accept this help. Emily wants to drown.

So instead, she returns to her old lover, the sea who takes a slow inventory of her person from shoe to bodice. She is nearly overtaken and then . . . she reaches safety, solid ground. My goodness, we almost lost you there, Em. What would have happened to you? Something more than love, but less than what you thought? We’ll find out eventually because that “mighty look” is a promise. The sea will return. It always does. The tide comes in, goes out, and comes in again. On that we can rely.

I notice she has the influences arranged so that no man moved her until this tide came over her. She contains this ocean. These tides are her own. She properly identifies the source of this vast oceanic feeling as commencing within her rather than giving credit to someone else for “making” her feel this way. Or at least she knows she’s having a private relationship with an archetype first, not a man out there. Whatever it is that happens for her out there among humans, originates with her own nature. Smart girl, Emily.

Now here is the part I cherish the most in this poem. Her dog accompanies her on this foray into the oceanic chaos of feeling. Why? He is the guide or the touchstone, perhaps? That sturdy, warm, fur-covered fellow traveler, who doesn’t ask questions. Doesn’t demand anything. Accepts her completely, no matter what. Doesn’t care if she is good or smart or successful or pretty. Still her dog wants her and loves her. Hmm . . . how like a deity is Emily’s dog. Therefore, he is the perfect companion to take with her on this borderline dangerous engagement with the unknown realm of emotional tumult. With her dog as her co-pilot, Emily can go anywhere. His wordless presence beside her is all the proof she needs that she exists in a meaningful way, and that her life matters to someone. Her dog is the anchor that keeps her steady in knowing her life is worth saving, keeping and living. Emily is never lost in the chaos of being human as long as her dog stands with her.

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